Raising an Autistic Child or Teen: Everyday Insights for Parents

As a child and adolescent psychologist, I am often asked: “What does research really say, and how can I use it at home?” Below are six practical ideas for daily life. They come from scientific studies, but here they are explained in a simple way so you can try them with your child this week.

1. Screening is only a beginning

Questionnaires and short forms, such as the Social Communication Questionnaire (SCQ), are often used to check if a child may be on the spectrum. These tools are not perfect. A low or high score does not tell the whole story. Your own observations matter most.

Try this at home: Keep a short diary for two weeks. Write down social interest, attempts at communication, and things that trigger stress. Bring this to your doctor or psychologist, no matter what the test result says.

2. Support sensory needs early

Children with autism may react strongly to sounds, textures, or lights. These reactions are not “extra issues” but part of daily life. Supporting sensory needs early makes routines calmer.

Try this at home:

• Pick two daily challenges (for example, brushing hair, crowded stores).

• Add one small change (soft brush, headphones).

• Use a visual schedule so transitions are easier to handle.

  
  

3. Sleep and anxiety are connected

Poor sleep can cause more stress and worry in the day, which then makes falling asleep harder. This cycle can affect the whole family.

Try this at home:

• Keep bedtime and wake time the same every day.

• Create a 20–30 minute calming routine before bed (dim lights, story, same order).

• Use visual timers: “First bath, then story.”

• If sleep problems continue, check with your doctor to rule out medical causes.

  
  

4. Emotions can be learned step by step

Many children with autism need help to understand feelings. This skill does not grow on its own but can be taught in simple steps.

Try this at home:

• Use a feelings thermometer (0–10 scale).

• Teach one simple reframe: “He ignored me” → “Maybe he didn’t hear me.”

• Practice with drawings or cartoons first, then real situations.

• Praise the effort of noticing a thought, not only the result.

  
  

5. Notice small progress

Progress is often slow and easy to miss. Small changes matter and should be seen.

Try this at home: Take short videos of daily routines (greeting, reading, play). These clips show tiny improvements over time, such as more eye contact or quicker response. They are useful for both parents and professionals.

6. Make social time structured

For many teens, social life is difficult if it feels unplanned. Structured activities with clear roles can make friendship easier.

Try this at home:

• Choose clubs based on interests (chess, coding, robotics, art).

• Practice short scripts for starting and ending conversations.

• Give your child a role in group activities (timekeeper, builder).

• Afterward, ask: “What was good? What was hard? What will we try next time?”

  
  

What this means for your family

If you are just starting: questionnaires can open the door to help, but your observations are most important.

If your child struggles with sensory overload or poor sleep: these are not small details, they are key areas to work on first.

If emotions are overwhelming: treat them like a skill to practice, with pictures and simple steps.

If you wonder if therapy is helping: ask for clear ways to measure progress. Videos and structured notes help.

If your teen feels lonely: start with activities based on interests and clear rules. Success there can grow into wider friendships.

References and Resources

• National Institute of Mental Health Data Archive (NDA, formerly NDAR): https://nda.nih.gov

• Studies on autism screening tools (Social Communication Questionnaire).

• Research on sensory responses and later outcomes in children with autism.

• Research on sleep and anxiety in autistic youth.

• Studies on learning and practicing emotion regulation in children and teens.

• Autism Biomarkers Consortium for Clinical Trials (eye-tracking and EEG measures).

• Studies on peer engagement in adolescents with autism.

• Autism Speaks Parent Resources: https://www.autismspeaks.org/tool-kit

• CDC – Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) Information for Families: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/families.html

• Interactive Autism Network Family Resources: https://iancommunity.org