Natalia Gomez Carlier Psychologist & Art Psychotherapist MAAT, ATR-BC
When was the last time you rested? The last time you really rested? When you didn’t feel guilty for taking a break, didn’t feel the need to check your phone, or worry about posting or responding. In these post-pandemic times, some of us have found ourselves in the land of toxic productivity. This is a land of doing, doing doing, of accomplishment, and of constantly judging what we are able to do.
There is nothing wrong with being productive; it feels really good to finish tasks and be on time with our worldly demands. But the pandemic taught us that we could work from home and changed the way we understood the transition between life and work. For some of us, this resulted in workaholism and a focus on doing over being.
One of the reasons why we focused on productivity was because we felt afraid and uncertain of our future. So, we grabbed what we felt control over. We held to what we knew best, which in many cases was work. And as we worked and felt efficient, we experienced pride and worth. Creating a cycle of fear-control-productivity where we neglected rest. When we worried, we found a task to do, organize, bake, and even clean so that we did not feel the uncertainty and its discomfort.
But we are human beings, not human doings. And for us to be, we need to rest. If we don’t, we risk burnout. You can recognize burnout when you cannot relax, wake up tired, are edgy, and constantly unhappy, even when engaging in what used to bring you joy. Toxic productivity creates an environment where it is normal to feel tired. But it is not natural to live fatigued. Maybe I need to repeat this, it is not normal to feel constantly exhausted. Our precious body was designed with the magnificent ability to renew itself. But this only happens when we rest and sleep. And even though self-care has entered our vocabulary and we often discuss it, I am afraid it has become a task. So, we add our self-care routine to our to-do list and feel guilty when we don’t accomplish it—adding to our already toxic cycle.
We need time to rest, digest, and sleep—good old disconnecting to rest. However, because we are in a toxic cycle, we can’t rest even when we make time for rest. We lie in bed and can’t stop our minds enough to surrender into sleep. It is almost as if we have to re-train our bodies to rest. What was natural has become elusive and challenging.
And what does all this have to do with our intuition? Our capacity to reflect on our internal states and connect with our bodies is part of what makes us humans. This inner awareness then connects us with our intuition. Intuition is defined as knowing without knowing how we know. This awareness informs us about what we need and want, and we must remember that we are all different in what we need and want. But this has been lost in the exhaustion, and the voices of others, whether it’s your partner, a therapist, or an influencer, have become louder than our inner voice.
Intuition speaks in a quiet voice that requires us to be still and listen. So, we need to disrupt the cycle of toxic productivity to rest. Once we sleep, we can reengage with our intuition and discover what we need and want. We need to embrace the power of silence and stillness and prioritize being over doing. Here are some tips on how to disconnect and reengage.
1. Stop reading this and rest!
2. Use your senses to become more attuned to the here and now. Smell, listen, and feel.
3. Spend time in nature.
4. Pay attention to your dreams.
5. Start to engage with your intuition. Play with it, ask questions, and be curious, but check if your inner voice is answering. Verify that you are connecting to your inner wisdom.
Resources
https://www.apa.org/topics/sleep/why
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/intuition
https://www.realsimple.com/health/mind-mood/stress/toxic-productivity
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.620310/full
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2022/01/special-burnout-stress
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